Before heading back to real estate I was running a successful online storefront, designing and selling the most comfy tee you'd ever wear. I was happy with it. It was a hobby that generated me a great income while I was in the thick of having babies, but more than that, it was a creative outlet, a space that was solely mine. I built the website, designed the logo, ordered the inventory, photographed the inventory and shipped it. It was exhilarating to see a small idea grow into something substantial.
Over time I began to outgrow what it had to offer me...even though some days I still have the itch to design a tee or two, I knew I wanted to pursue 'something' else. In all honestly, I also knew that the 'something else' was real estate, I just wasn't sure how to get back to it. That...and I told myself all sorts of lies so that I could stay in, what I thought was, my nice comfortable spot. For two years, I debated going back to real estate. For two years, I told myself a variety of different lies & if you've been hesitating on pursuing something you love, I bet you're telling yourself some whoppers too. Here's the 3 big lies I told myself and how I moved through them.
1. It will be detrimental to my kids. Part of my hesitation leaving my online storefront and going back to real estate was that it felt like I was leaving a hobby and pursuing a career and I had a lot of untruths in my mental space about working mom's. I grew up in a culture where most mothers didn't pursue careers outside of the home. My mother never worked, my friend's moms never worked, I had not ever seen it modeled & I kept wondering what was wrong with me that I wasn't satisfied with what was going on within my four walls. Why wasn't that enough for me? That question swarmed in my head for YEARS and I grappled with the guilt and shame that followed the lies I told myself. I spent many nights crying to my husband, apologizing if he was upset that I always pursued career endeavors over laundry endeavors. For the record, he never was upset and was always the quiet voice of reason. Reminding me that in fact it was just the opposite. While I had always pursued outside interests, I never was willing to compromise my kids in the process. He'd quietly remind me that I didn't go to law school, that I quite my job when I had a baby and that I had turned down other opportunities that would have taken me out of the home.
It took a long time to clear the mental garbage to come to the realization that not only would pursuing real estate NOT be detrimental to my kids, but just the opposite. Two years in, I can fully attest that while they do have to make some sacrifices on my behalf, it has always been an asset instead of a liability.
2. People will think I'm a slimy salesperson. Truth is, they might, but those people aren't your people. The people that think your a slimy salesperson probably have time to think that about you because they aren't doing anything worthwhile. At least that's the story I tell myself. In all honesty though, EVERYONE that owns their own business is a salesperson. Seriously. Doctors, lawyers, dentists, teachers...they're all trying to sell you something. Doctors need to sell procedures, lawyers & dentists need to sell services and teachers, well they're selling education.
3. I don't know what I'm doing. This one I was certain was absolutely true. In the purest of senses, I didn't feel experienced enough. I had literally never written a resale contract prior to shutting down my online shop, so this felt like a big leap. Even worse, I had gone to real estate school ten years prior. Ask me how much I remembered? About nothing. Turns out, that while yes, the paperwork needs to be done properly, its only about 10% of the transaction. So much more of real estate is about marketing, listening and angling. Turns out, my previous experiences in running businesses and raising kids made me really good at those things. Honesty, if you're a mom, you're built for real estate. You've learned to be a good listener, compassionate and read the non-verbals. You also might not know this yet, but you're also a master at marketing and negotiating, but that's another post for another day.
At the end of the day, all these lies were just silly stories I was telling myself in an effort to try and keep me 'safe' and 'comfortable.' Two years in though, I can look back and tell you that they didn't keep me safe, nor did the serve me well in any way. It took some time, but I developed a different story line for myself. Instead of telling myself that it would be detrimental to my kids, I told myself that them seeing me take a chance and pursue something I loved would give them the permission to do the same one day. Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure, I'll be in a position to be a huge support to them when they're ready, because I can say, 'yeah, I've been there, here's a thought.'
Instead of telling myself people will think I am a slimy salesperson, I now ask myself, who needs my help today? My goal is to always be of service and people can think what they think. Instead of telling myself that I don't know what I'm doing, I know tell myself, I'm uniquely qualified to handle each client's situation and guess what? That's actually the truth. I am uniquely qualified and I can handle it.
No matter what you're wanting to pursue, if you're struggling to get started, take inventory of the stories you're telling yourself. Do they match where you want to go? Are you creating scenarios in your mind that aren't true? Take the time to sort through it and change your thoughts. As you change your thoughts you'll begin to feel differently, which will allow you to take the action you've always been hesitating on...and then, then you will get the results you've always wanted.
Whatever it is you're after, I'm rooting for you.
Hi, I'm Amy. When I'm not scouring the valley for the perfect new house, you can usually find me in the kitchen with a gaggle of kids. Chips, salsa and a Diet Coke are usually in hand.